There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
