I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
