Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
