I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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