spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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