Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
