So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
