We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
