no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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