wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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