Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
