I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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