He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
