"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
