dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
