piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
