I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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