I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
