So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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