she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize