do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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