I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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