I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
