I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just want nice things and good sex
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
