on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
