This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize