I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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