8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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