What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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