I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
