there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
