my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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