i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize