I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
