i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
