Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
operation harelip BJ is a go
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
