Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
