Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Drunk is not a location!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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