Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
