She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
