I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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