Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
