I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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