I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
