The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
