u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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