i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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