Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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