Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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he fucked my hip out of place.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
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max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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