So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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