If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
