I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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