Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
