Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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