Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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