fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
