he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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